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Humphrey Bogart was dead and gone by the time I was coming of age -- But he was still the original man men wanted to be like and women wanted to … Well, you know … Borrow a match from … maybe something more… And who hasn’t dreamed of accidentally choosing Rick’s gin joint ‘in all the towns in all the world”? Sitting across the piano from Ingrid Bergman puffing away on a Lucky?
Addicts can usually tell you the exact moment their struggle began. (Which at the time does not seem like a struggle at all. It’s a pleasure.) Even though the ultimate responsibility for ever starting this habit is ours alone, we certainly can’t deny outside influences such as parents, friends and movie icons of the day.
I was not quite 16 when I first started to smoke … (Granted, we’re talking the late ‘70’s here and things were different then, but still …) A few cigs here, a few there … Heck, I could ride my bike up to the Vickers’ station (for those of you who remember those,) and buy a pack for .50cents.
I suppose when your young, thinking you're one of God’s gifted, more intelligent than most -- clearly smarter than both your parents and most if not all of your teachers -- one foot still in pre-puberty, one foot inching its way to adulthood; having a smoke makes you feel more on par with the adults in society than the youth. There's an additional arrogance that makes you believe just because all other smokers are addicts, YOU will be able to quit at anytime, because YOU'RE Super Human!!
Looking back on this all I can think of is two things:
* I must have looked just friggin’ Ridiculous! (there’s that word again).
* I wish some one would have just slapped the living stuff out of me!
(Although we all know that at 15, not even that helps. Some of us were just plain idiots at that age and for that, time is the only cure.)
Presently, I’m into my second week now. As I’ve written before, I’ve gone three months a number of times. I do remember the first few days being extremely frustrating and the first week being very agitated but when is this anxiety going to go away?
Butter flies in my stomach that float freely upwards and settle right in the cavity of my chest … And you non-smokers think ‘kicking the habit’ should make us addicts feel immediately better! Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
Now I’m in a situation where I don’t think I should consider What Would Bogey Do?
Hey, Buddy,
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I too started smoking as a boy and quit (on the umpteenth try) 2 1/2 years ago when I was 43. I managed because I finally gathered the four key pieces of knowledge I needed. I don't know if I have a character limit so let me see if this posts OK and I'll tell you what worked for me in a second post.
Four Key Things:
ReplyDelete1) Track your progress on this: http://www.alaw.org/pdfs/tobChangesYourBodyGoesThroughWhenYouQuitSmoking.pdf
I put a little check mark next to each one.
2) This is VERY IMPORTANT: after ten days, the nicotine is flushed from your body, so your addiction is more mental than physical (not that the mental does not have a physical component, but I hope you know what I mean).
3) This is the MOST IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED, and it was from a psychiatrist. Apparently, our minds are good at noticing when a craving starts--say, I crave a smoke--but NOT good at noticing when it stops. So, if you crave a cigarette, and you can't have one for an hour, you think/feel "I've been craving a cigarette for an hour." But that's not right. You've only been craving a cigarette for a small fraction of that time. I got a watch with a second hand and timed it. My LONGEST/WORST craving lasted 4 minutes and 40 seconds. And, when I first quit, another one would come in about 15 minutes. But day after day, the length and the frequency of the cravings subsided. When I had that strong urge, I'd just stare and the watch and tell myself, "two more minutes," or whatever. Hope this makes sense.
4) Eat instead and don't worry about the weight you gain. You can lose it down the road.
The anxiety WILL go away--about six months, for me.
ReplyDeleteOK, last comment. :-)
Sir,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your input~ this was exactly the kind of support I was looking for. I found many of your suggestions very helpful. I'm sure other's will too.
Personally, I especially like being aware of when nic-fit ENDS! I had never given that a lot of thought. We all know when they start but you are right, don't pay much attention to when they end.
Lastly; and I hope no one hates me for this, but I am 145 lbs., weight gain is just not going to be an issue with me!
Thanks again for the great suggestions.
FJW