30 Days in the Hole ~

One month ago today I made my second trip back to the Hypnotist ...

Unfortunately, I can't claim this as my one month anniversary; I had five cigarettes on the Fourth of July. After that I just had to say to myself that this was absolutely ridiculous (word of the month; remember?) I had all the tools I needed (except the Bupropion at that time) and all the desire I needed. I just had to apply everything to my daily living.

I had to remind myself that all actions have consequences -- but so does in-action!

In just my second post -- Monday, Monday ... -- I likened the start of this journey to that of members of AA: "you need to take it one day at a time; and if that’s too much than you have to take it one hour at a time or one minute at a time."

Today -- Thirty days later, I can honestly say it's much easier. But the desire isn't totally gone.

What I've come to realize this past week or so is that my desire to smoke is more situational that circumstantial.

What I mean by that is there are certain situations I find myself in where I am used to having a cigarette and find myself, at least briefly, desiring one. However, it doesn't' seem to affect me as much during certain circumstances such as seeing someone on the street with a smoke or smelling it gingerly whiffing into my car from an adjacent car at the intersection.

In fact, seeing someone standing on the sidewalk enjoying their cigarette break usually re-affirms my happiness at my results so far. It's when I find myself in situations like wanting to get up from my desk at work for a break that I still have the desire for my smoke break.

The good news is, it's no longer minute by minute or even hour by hour -- my cravings are down to two to four a day.

Now, after Thirty days tobacco free, smoking related sinus congestion, fatigue or shortness of breath should have dramatically decreased. Cilia have started to regrow in my lungs thereby increasing their ability to handle mucus, keep lungs clean, and reduce infections. (According to what I've read)

But I'm still working on the whole Anxiety issue! High Anxiety ~